“Inside the word ‘emergency’ is ‘emerge’; from an emergency new things come.” — Rebecca Solnit

A friend from Europe recently messaged me:

HELL NO, was my initial thought. It's actually a thought I have quite regularly. I'll be doing something - driving, laundry - and suddenly think: Imagine if I was in that corporate office right now. Would I still be there?

When I went to answer her, I started thinking about where I am now. Objectively, things aren’t perfect. The godmother of my children, who came trick-or-treating with us last year, is no longer in my life. My daughter’s second birthday was spent at a terse family gathering where I hardly spoke to my parents. I have spent most of my savings on a divorce lawyer I now have on retainer and at least half my friends are gone (dead to me).

Yet when I look at my life — getting into my Porsche, writing this next book with a contract and a publisher, spending my days doing what I love — I know none of this would have happened if I had gotten that job at Chase.

If I hadn’t been laid off at seven months pregnant. Rejected in a background check. Put on an SSRI for debilitating depression. Gone to a psych ward. Faced what felt like a series of emergency after emergency. I wouldn’t be where I am now.