The most infuriating thing my husband says when we’re fighting is that it’s impossible to argue with me—because I’m a writer.

What goes through my mind is Andrea Dworkin’s line: ‘They will say you are shrill. They will say you are bitter. But they will never say you are wrong.”

Then another quote comes to mind: good writing is the result of good thinking.

I am a seasoned student of the art of language. I can win affection just as easily as I can cut someone off at the knees. I think back to recent phone calls with people in my life — the way they hung up in that stunned silence that sounds a lot like fear.

When my husband confronts me about those “cutting remarks,” I tell him: They’re just words.

He should know. He uses them all the time. Take the other night.

He says: “I’m tired of fighting all the time. Divorce would be easier.”